So today I officially launched my first book, Raising Doug, on Amazon (Raising Doug). It's a little glimpse into what makes our marriage tick. Doug gave me his blessing on writing it. Actually, it was his idea. Over four years of dating and 23 years of marriage, you become accustomed to your spouse. The beauty of what makes our marriage work is that we are in it together. We laugh often, even when life seems to serve up a shit sandwich.
The last few years haven't be great for us as a family. Too many hospital visits, lost jobs, struggling to start a new business and just dealing with day to day life sometimes takes a toll on a family. We lost Doug's dad this past year, which was devastating to our family and life after became the new normal.
The best part of the last few years, is that we did everything as a family. Things have been changing over the last few years as our boys have grown. Having one son getting ready to graduate college, and another graduating high school and soon going to college, our lives have changed tremendously. There are fewer family vacations where we are all together. It's been hard to adjust to that, but I know that it's the ultimate goal when you raise a family...you want them to grow up and have their own lives.
I often wonder what life will be like in just a few short months when Doug and I will be the only ones left in the house. Sure, I know that our kids will come back; and they will always be welcome. But life as we know it will be different. I won't have to buy seven gallons of milk a week, or worry that there are socks left in the hamper after a two-a-day football practice.
There will be no jockeying schedules to make sure that we can accommodate everyone in the house. There will be dinners that cost $25 and not $75, and grocery bills that are cut in half.
I will miss, though, the hugs and kisses before bed, or when we leave in the morning. I'll miss the conversations at dinner that make us laugh until we cry. I'll even miss being the homework Nazi.
Writing has been an outlet for me for the last few years. There is so much I want to say but don't because I am always afraid I'm going to offend someone. Part of the problem is that there are things people say on social media that just really piss me off. I'm naturally inquisitive, so when I see something I don't believe, I might research it to find out the truth. And then when I confirm my suspicions that the person that wrote it is full of shit, I get pissed. But I always bite my tongue because I'm worried about how it will effect our kids. Now that the boys are older, I'm starting not to care about what I say, because I'm just too old to deal with bullshit.
Some people know that I don't appreciate when people steal my work. Even as I write this, I wonder if the person that is stealing my work, will know its them I'm talking about. It doesn't help that that same person is a pathological liar. It's a dreadful combination that I have to deal with daily.
Being married to someone for 23 years, you learn to be each others sounding board, and sometimes unfortunately become each others whipping post. All too often we bark at each other after a bad day because they are the first person you see when you get home. It's never meant to hurt, but sometimes it does. So, sweetie, with that being said...I'm sorry.
Family is the most important thing in the world, and no matter what you are going through, you can count on them to make you smile. Our boys are the best at making me laugh when I'm in a bad mood, sometimes even hard enough to make me pee. Yes, sorry for that too.
I don't know what the next year will bring in my writing, let alone this little blog. I know I'm ready to be more open and get things out there that I've bottled up.
Last week I was at the doctor as a follow up to an accident Doug and I were in four months ago. I found out my blood pressure is high, and has been for the last three months. I have to stop letting things get to me, because, frankly, at 45 years old, I don't want to have a heart attack. Stress just sucks, so I will be writing more to get things off my chest. I just can't deal with keeping it inside anymore.
So, with that being said, I'm not going to apologize if you get hit in the crossfire. I'm entitled to my opinion, even if you think it sucks. If you don't like what you read, by all means, stop following me. On the flip side, if you like what I write, please share it. I think some of my stuff is too good to not share.