Sixteen days ago I was just coming out of recovery from what I understand to be a pretty invasive surgery. After dealing with lady bit woes for 18 months, my doctor decided it was time to schedule a hysterectomy. Needless to say, I was scared, because I wasn't quite sure what it was going to mean for me post-op. She planned on taking everything but my ovaries...it's like cleaning me out with an ice cream scoop.
I did what any 48 year old, married for nearly 26 years, mom of two would do...I went to the internet. I joined hysterectomy groups. I asked friends. I researched.
You can imagine my surprise when I read things like "You need to be really careful, because if you aren't and your stitches rip, your insides will fall out", "I'm six weeks post-op, what is that smell?", "seven days post op and I still have a catheter", "will I get my period after they remove my uterus, tubes and cervix?" and "It's day 19, when can I shower?" Um, what in the actual fuck?
Leading up to surgery I read just about everything I could. I shared it with my husband and he thought I was insane. He begged me to stop reading...so did my doctor. So I did. But then I went back to it.
My surgery went relatively smooth, with the exception of a lot of scar tissue thanks to two cesarean sections, and my doctor losing about a year of her life after they took an xray of me on the table and thought they left part of a tool in me. (Turns out, it was actually a broken off piece of the tool they used to remove my uterus). When it read it in my chart, the first thing I thought was I'm gonna sue someone! Then I thought, was it a junior mint? That's how my mind works.
I spent just a single day in the hospital getting released by noon on the second day. I was happy to go home because, frankly, you get not a single minute of sleep in the hospital. Sure, the nurses are all nice and say you need your rest....then 30 minutes later someone is taking your blood pressure or emptying you catheter. Yes, you read right. The catheter. When they finally removed it, my nurse said if I am unable to go, she would reinsert it. Fuck you will. I did not go home with it.
When I got home, I was treated like a queen. I didn't lift a finger. Meals were cooked, laundry was done, I slept alot. But surprisingly enough I recovered pretty fast. By day four, I went to lunch with my oldest son. By day five, he took me grocery shopping, and then I went to dinner with my hubby and ate all.the.food. By day six, I was outside walking alot and parking cars for the state fair in our yard, and spending some time napping. (Oh how I miss napping).
One week post op and I noticed was tired towards the end of the day. Eight days post op I saw my doc and she said I looked great - incisions were healing well, she released me for work and limited lifting, with the caveat I need to see her at week six. Last week I spent more time parking cars, and we followed our youngest back to college to get him moved back in for his junior year and football camp.
Last week I went back on the hysterectomy pages and promptly unfollowed them. There is some good information, but some of it is so bad, I just can't read it anymore. I don't know if my experience is atypical, or if the only women posting are those that need to talk about all the drama associated with this surgery. I do feel sorry for those that are truly in pain. I don't feel sorry for those that wait 19 days to shower. I showered the day I got home. I feel sorry for those that believe their intestines are going to fall out (maybe I'm off base, but I would hope this doesn't happen). I want to punch the women in the throat that think they will get their period after all their bits are removed. Honey, you need to take an anatomy class or talk to your doctor stat.
Fast forward to this past Monday, and I headed back into the office. I thought for sure that sitting all day would bother me, but it's not too bad. I even wore jeans to work. My boss has been great, my coworkers a blessing. Everyone seems to be happy I am back. In fact, here I am sixteen days after surgery and it's like I never left. I do have to be careful with lifting things - I made our intern lift 11 boxes of collateral for me. #worksmarternotharder
Days have been long, and I am tired by 2:00, but I push through. Thankful that I can start earlier than 7:00 and leave early if I need to. I came back to 280 emails (the ones I never opened in the last two weeks), and a short stack of work. Thankfully, I had the hindsight to give my boss a list of all the things he needed to do for me while I was out. Happy to say that 80% of it was done.
So here I sit, sixteen days after surgery, happy to be free of Aunt Flo forever, ready to take on the next step. My husband says I can be a drug mule - it's like I have this giant empty compartment - or maybe I can smuggle junior mints into the movie theatre. I'll be glad when I get released for real life (my hubby too) and be a new me. In the meantime, me and my ovaries will go to work, rest when we can, and get ready for fall.
