Still Searching

Three weeks ago I wrote about losing my job.  I feel like I'm a professional job jumper/resume writer/interviewer extraordinaire.

There is nothing fun about being out of work.  Sure, I've been lucky enough to take some senior pictures, which I am so very thankful for...but I still feel like I'm failing my family.  I don't understand how people can be ok with being out of work.  A couple weeks off would have been sufficient, but I'm ready to go back to the grind.

I've had alot of interviews, both on the phone and in person, and what I felt was a pretty awesome opportunity where I am still waiting for a call back.  Even if they decide to go elsewhere, a note would be nice.  You know that moment when you leave an interview and the last thing said to you was "when can you start"...I was walking on Cloud 9.  That was a week ago.  Now I know some of you might say, it's only a week.  But that's one more week on unemployment.  One more week that you feel like opportunities are slipping out of your finger.  One more week of questioning whether or not you truly are good at what you do.

Some days, after I've done my initial hour search at 8:00 am, early scheduled phone calls, emails that need to be sent and photos that need to be edited, I tackle the laundry, straightening the bed, play with the dogs and then start thinking about prepping dinner, I sit back at the computer and just search.  I've stalked LinkedIn profiles, Facebook pages for keys into whether or not a friend might work some where that will be a good fit, websites of local companies and reached out to ex-colleagues that might have landed somewhere else.  I've sent follow up note, left voices and done my due diligence.  I've pulled out old recruiting books, job search guides and borrowed books on good karma.

A few nights ago I was restless in bed, and according to my husband screamed in my sleep.  I have no idea what I was dreaming about, all I know is I was exhausted the next day after not being able to fall back asleep.  Is this a queue to slow down on the search?  Wait for something to land in my lap? Go down a different path? Unfortunately, we are not independently wealthy. This is real life.  I can't just stop looking for a job.  It's not in my nature.

This isn't my first rodeo when looking for jobs. Both my husband and I have gone through this.  We haven't been ones to stay at company for 10, 15, or 20 years.  There are times when I'm jealous that we haven't.  The level of security must be something that helps a person sleep at night.  The level of monotony would get to me.

I've heard it all with friends sending quotes: "Good things happen to those that wait", "Things happen for a reason", and then the wishes of fingers crossed, you'll find something better messages, and just stay home and do your photography.  That's all fine and good, and I appreciate the messages...sometimes it's what keeps me going.

So here I sit, thinking about writing another book, one that will sell, and wonder if or when I'll get that phone call from an employer that actually wants me to join their team.