Tuesday, February 23, 2016

10 Facts My Children Should Know About Women

A good friend of mine posted a photo tonight, with this as the caption:

10 Facts Every Woman Should Know:

1. Everyone has rolls when they bend over.
2. When someone tells you that you're beautiful, believe them. They aren't lying.
3. Sometimes we all wake up with breath that could kill a goat.
4. For every woman unhappy with her stretch marks is another woman who wishes she had them.
5. You should definitely have more confidence. And if you saw yourself the way others see you, you would.
6. Don't look for a man to save you. Be able to save yourself.
7. It's okay to not love every part of your body....but you should.
8. We all have that one friend who seems to have it all together. That woman with the seemingly perfect life. Well, you might be that woman to someone else.
9. You should be a priority. Not an option, a last resort, or a backup plan.
10. You're a woman. That alone makes you pretty damn remarkable.

Everything on this list is spot on.

She has two daughters, the same ages as our boys. Both daughters are fiercely independent and often times challenge everything she taught them. We became fast friends in 2008 after being introduced by our oldest kids. We spent the evening carting around our kids, and at least fifteen more with the help of another couple. It was an epic night, spent crawling, walking and running (!) around a haunted woods.

I can only imagine what it's like to raise daughters, since my life has been surrounded with jeans wearing, football playing, hole digging and toilet missing boys. I grew up with three brothers and a tom-boy sister. My best friends were guys. I only wore dresses under protest, and my idea of a date night can often be cheap pizza and a movie. When my husband and I decided to have kids, we knew we were going to have boys...at least a pretty good idea we would have boys, since he came from a family whose boy/girl ratio is about 95%/5%. I thanked our lucky stars we had boys. I am confident I would not have made a good mom to girls.

With that being said, I would love to write the 10 facts that every man should know. But, I'm a realist, and I have no idea what a man should know, because even if I write them down, they wouldn't listen. I will, however, give you the 10 Facts My Children Should Know (About Women) as a supplement to the above list:

1. Yes, she might have rolls, but they make her, her. Never, ever, ever mention them. You are not perfect. If you claim to be perfect, have her call me, and I will break out every childhood secret that you thought I've forgotten.
2. Tell her she's beautiful, even when she's wearing your old sweatpants and a t-shirt from the hamper.
3. Truth. Sorry. If it's that bad, yours is probably worse.
4. You won't get this until you decide to have kids. Stretch marks, cesarean scars and saggy boobs are part of the package. If she has them it means she birthed your children. If she doesn't, it doesn't make her less of a woman. Make sure she knows that.
5. Be her biggest fan. Give her a pep talk when you know she needs to deal with a shitty boss or has a huge project due. And make sure you check in on her after you know she's done. It means you care.
6. She really doesn't need you. If dad and I raised you right, she's independent, won't take your shit and still choose you. Give her a reason to need you.
7. Even if she doesn't love every part of her body, you should.
8. If she talks about her seemingly perfect friend, don't agree with her. Cut her friend down even if you think her friend is more put-together than your wife/girlfriend. If you don't, it will end badly for you. I promise you that.
9. She is a priority. Yes, you can go out with your friends, but be certain to never question when she goes out with hers. Trust that no matter where she goes, she will come home to you.
10. She.Is.Remarkable. Period. Make sure she knows that.

I hope my children read this, but if they don't, I will read it to them. They may roll their eyes or pay attention to their cell phone instead. But I know that in my heart they already know this because of how my husband treats me.

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