Is it just me, or as you scroll through your Facebook feed you are seeing less of your friends updates and more advertising, pop culture and business postings?
I joined Facebook many moons ago to keep an eye on my kids. Don't deny it, you've done it too. Today, I use it daily both personally and for work. My friends know that I am a photography junkie and use it as an outlet to post pictures, as well as send updates for the boys sports teams, or post random blogs of things going on in my head (hence, this post).
As I popped on this morning after needing a break from and ad campaign I was writing, my feed was filled with everything expect friends posts.
The top 20 posts this morning came from:
Wissports
Pop Sugar Moms
Club Mid
Scary Mommy
The Chive
Club Mid
The Chive
Matthew Crowley Photography
Writers Write
The Chive
Slice of Life
Adobe Stock
Illustrated Monthly
Illustrated Monthly
The Rachael Ray Show
Love this Life
Northwoods
A Room with a View
Club Mid
Log Homes
Not a single friend post. Nothing from family. Maybe I logged in too early. Maybe every one on my friends list is actually working and not taking a five minute break from work. Maybe, I'm just a junkie that likes to know what people are thinking about and posting about.
I know, I know. I followed these pages. I wanted their info. Sometimes its just overwhelming. Don't get me wrong...much of it is relevant. There was a good story on Writers Write, and I like to look through Matthew Crowley's pictures. It was intriguing to see Channing Tatum in a gown and Elsa wig singing "Let it Go", enough so I want to watch "Lip Sync Battle" to see what else he does.
The click of one button changed my feed. If you are finding yourself losing out on what your friends are doing, in the news feed section, click most recent instead of scrolling through top stories. You'll be glad you did.
Tuesday, January 5, 2016
Sunday, December 20, 2015
Home Sweet Home
It's December 20th, and we are all under one roof. Semester number seven is in the books for our oldest and senior year for our youngest is quickly approaching a memory.
This year, thanks to El Nino, we are staying back for Christmas Eve. Typically, we are the first family to get out of dodge, so we can capitalize on the beautiful, fresh snowmobile trails and the fact that everyone else is putting on their game faces and spending time with extended family. This year, there is little snow in the forecast, and the trails are officially closed, so we are staying back and leaving on Christmas morning.
I am looking forward to seeing family this year; it's been a hard year at best with dad passing away. We won't see everyone in both families, but I will make sure that phone calls are made or text messages sent, at least to send out wishes. The times we do stay home for Christmas, there are a lot of laughs. This year, there will probably be tears too.
This past week I wished my oldest brother a happy birthday. We haven't seen each other in years, but text occasionally, usually initiated by me after someone falls ill or passes away in our family. I talk to his kids more than I talk to him. I started my message to him calling him big brother and I told him I loved him. That day I didn't get a response. The day after I didn't get a response. Two days later I got my response in the form of an invite for our family to come to his house on the 26th. Unfortunately, we will be out of town, so we won't get to see there family. He signed his message big brother.
In all honesty, it was a huge step for our family. There had been a rift after an incident that happened 15 years ago (I still don't know what really happened) and divided our family; we rarely talk. I've never been one to give up on something, so I text every time something significant happens...I'm the baby sister, and I'll make sure that I always talk to my family even if I don't see them for every holiday.
I'm hoping that it is the first of many invitations either from his house or ours. I want our kids to know there cousins. That was one of my favorite things about growing up - spending time with my cousins.
I wish we could be there on the 26th, but our tradition is to spend time away with our family. I'll miss seeing my brother and sister-in-law, and seeing my niece and four nephews, and I'll miss meeting their significant others, and meeting my grand niece and two grand nephews. I know he won't see this unless one of his kids show it to him. I wonder what he would say.
Our vacation won't be our typical vacation where we spend every day on the beautiful trails of northern Wisconsin. This year, unless there is some northern snowstorm that develops in the next day and dumps 24 inches of snow in the next two days, our vacation will first be three of us, then five of us, then three of us again spending time together and just enjoying our down time. It's been a really long and hard year for our entire family. What we need is a little home sweet home time to regroup, refresh, and hope for a better 2016.
This year, thanks to El Nino, we are staying back for Christmas Eve. Typically, we are the first family to get out of dodge, so we can capitalize on the beautiful, fresh snowmobile trails and the fact that everyone else is putting on their game faces and spending time with extended family. This year, there is little snow in the forecast, and the trails are officially closed, so we are staying back and leaving on Christmas morning.
I am looking forward to seeing family this year; it's been a hard year at best with dad passing away. We won't see everyone in both families, but I will make sure that phone calls are made or text messages sent, at least to send out wishes. The times we do stay home for Christmas, there are a lot of laughs. This year, there will probably be tears too.
This past week I wished my oldest brother a happy birthday. We haven't seen each other in years, but text occasionally, usually initiated by me after someone falls ill or passes away in our family. I talk to his kids more than I talk to him. I started my message to him calling him big brother and I told him I loved him. That day I didn't get a response. The day after I didn't get a response. Two days later I got my response in the form of an invite for our family to come to his house on the 26th. Unfortunately, we will be out of town, so we won't get to see there family. He signed his message big brother.
In all honesty, it was a huge step for our family. There had been a rift after an incident that happened 15 years ago (I still don't know what really happened) and divided our family; we rarely talk. I've never been one to give up on something, so I text every time something significant happens...I'm the baby sister, and I'll make sure that I always talk to my family even if I don't see them for every holiday.
I'm hoping that it is the first of many invitations either from his house or ours. I want our kids to know there cousins. That was one of my favorite things about growing up - spending time with my cousins.
I wish we could be there on the 26th, but our tradition is to spend time away with our family. I'll miss seeing my brother and sister-in-law, and seeing my niece and four nephews, and I'll miss meeting their significant others, and meeting my grand niece and two grand nephews. I know he won't see this unless one of his kids show it to him. I wonder what he would say.
Our vacation won't be our typical vacation where we spend every day on the beautiful trails of northern Wisconsin. This year, unless there is some northern snowstorm that develops in the next day and dumps 24 inches of snow in the next two days, our vacation will first be three of us, then five of us, then three of us again spending time together and just enjoying our down time. It's been a really long and hard year for our entire family. What we need is a little home sweet home time to regroup, refresh, and hope for a better 2016.
Monday, December 14, 2015
40+10 Lessons Learned
It goes without saying that I read alot. Books, magazines, blogs. The back of shampoo bottles, toothpaste tubes and gel containers (don't judge...I know you do it too).
I read this blog tonight (http://www.scarymommy.com/club-mid/40-lessons-it-took-me-40-years-to-learn/) and quite a bit hit home. Here are some of my favorites:
3. Always check for toilet paper before sitting down. Your probably ok if you are in your own bathroom at home, within reaching distance of your cabinet or screaming distance of your kids, but do this at work or in a movie theatre, you'll be praying to God you have either your purse with you, or you can somehow make it from stall to stall without anyone seeing you.
6. A girl will never stop expecting other people to make a big deal about her birthday - even if she's 41 (45!). I don't necessarily agree with this. While I do think it really important that my husband, kids and mom remember, I don't care if my coworkers know what's going on. I do, however, like when my Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and LinkedIn wishes surpass 100. I don't claim to understand why.
9. Ice cream is not better than love, and chocolate isn't better than sex. Truth.
11. Don't sneeze when you're eating crackers. Unless you across from someone you really don't like. Then that shit is EPIC.
22. Always wear underwear under white shorts. And a bra under a tank top. Unless you have the chest of a 12 year old boy, then go for it.
39. Women can have rectal exams too. Wait, what? I'll pass.
40. I still have alot to learn! This goes without saying.
What else have I learned in my 45 years? Just a few others that top my list:
1. Life is too short to work for someone you don't trust. You spend one fourth of your life working. If you can't trust your boss, move on.
2. Your kids grow up way too fast although right under your nose. Before you know it, they'll be graduating college and planning their own futures.
3. Don't feel like you need to please everyone in your extended family during the holiday season. We have chosen to change how we celebrate because sometimes it needs to be just about us, and not about everyone else. If that isn't your cup of tea, so be it. Do what's right for you.
4. Don't be ashamed if you want to go back to coloring, but avoid the 'adult coloring book' fad. It's totally ok to grab a Winnie the Pooh or Scooby Doo coloring book.
5. Rethink who you've given access to your life. If you don't interact, maybe it's time to delete.
6. You'll never get a second chance to say goodbye.
7. It's ok if swear a little too much. Unless you are in church or your child's grade school, there is still free speech...and sometimes you just need to use the word fuck.
8. Worry about who is in your house, and what you have, and not what everyone else is doing or has. You don't know their circumstances, nor do they know yours. Unless they are the type of person to post every beef they have with every person on their friends list, what their salary is, or how they've been shamed, it's none of your business.
9. Sometimes it's ok to pop a bag of popcorn, pull up a chair and watch the insults fly (see above).
10. Don't feel bad for laughing at number 9 above.
Bonus. Live every moment. Laugh every day. Love beyond words.
All-in-all, I would rather be 45 with kids nearly out of the house, than 25 and starting out over again. Do I know what this list will look like at 65? Not a clue. I guess we'll just have to wait and find out.
I read this blog tonight (http://www.scarymommy.com/club-mid/40-lessons-it-took-me-40-years-to-learn/) and quite a bit hit home. Here are some of my favorites:
3. Always check for toilet paper before sitting down. Your probably ok if you are in your own bathroom at home, within reaching distance of your cabinet or screaming distance of your kids, but do this at work or in a movie theatre, you'll be praying to God you have either your purse with you, or you can somehow make it from stall to stall without anyone seeing you.
6. A girl will never stop expecting other people to make a big deal about her birthday - even if she's 41 (45!). I don't necessarily agree with this. While I do think it really important that my husband, kids and mom remember, I don't care if my coworkers know what's going on. I do, however, like when my Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and LinkedIn wishes surpass 100. I don't claim to understand why.
9. Ice cream is not better than love, and chocolate isn't better than sex. Truth.
11. Don't sneeze when you're eating crackers. Unless you across from someone you really don't like. Then that shit is EPIC.
22. Always wear underwear under white shorts. And a bra under a tank top. Unless you have the chest of a 12 year old boy, then go for it.
39. Women can have rectal exams too. Wait, what? I'll pass.
40. I still have alot to learn! This goes without saying.
What else have I learned in my 45 years? Just a few others that top my list:
1. Life is too short to work for someone you don't trust. You spend one fourth of your life working. If you can't trust your boss, move on.
2. Your kids grow up way too fast although right under your nose. Before you know it, they'll be graduating college and planning their own futures.
3. Don't feel like you need to please everyone in your extended family during the holiday season. We have chosen to change how we celebrate because sometimes it needs to be just about us, and not about everyone else. If that isn't your cup of tea, so be it. Do what's right for you.
4. Don't be ashamed if you want to go back to coloring, but avoid the 'adult coloring book' fad. It's totally ok to grab a Winnie the Pooh or Scooby Doo coloring book.
5. Rethink who you've given access to your life. If you don't interact, maybe it's time to delete.
6. You'll never get a second chance to say goodbye.
7. It's ok if swear a little too much. Unless you are in church or your child's grade school, there is still free speech...and sometimes you just need to use the word fuck.
8. Worry about who is in your house, and what you have, and not what everyone else is doing or has. You don't know their circumstances, nor do they know yours. Unless they are the type of person to post every beef they have with every person on their friends list, what their salary is, or how they've been shamed, it's none of your business.
9. Sometimes it's ok to pop a bag of popcorn, pull up a chair and watch the insults fly (see above).
10. Don't feel bad for laughing at number 9 above.
Bonus. Live every moment. Laugh every day. Love beyond words.
All-in-all, I would rather be 45 with kids nearly out of the house, than 25 and starting out over again. Do I know what this list will look like at 65? Not a clue. I guess we'll just have to wait and find out.
Wednesday, December 9, 2015
Six Months To Go
In six short months, our youngest son will graduate high school. I can honestly say that on the outside, I'm doing a happy dance. Everyone that knows me knows I have a countdown clock: 185 days to be precise. I reference it often. It's the culmination of getting both of our children through grammar, middle and high school, and getting ready to unleash them on the world.
On the inside, I'm a little sad though I'm not quite sure why. I don't think things will change that much once we hit 186 days. He'll be off to college a few short months after graduation, and thankfully he's narrowed down his choice...I think. He'll still live at home when he's not at school, as will his brother until he finishes and moves out on his own.
It's been almost 22 years of having a third, then fourth, body in our house. Sometimes I wonder what my husband and I will talk about when it's just the two of us. The school years have been filled with homework and projects and athletic practice and games. It's been filled with permission slips and a million questions: Mom can you help me? Dad, my truck is acting up, what's wrong with it? Mom, what's for dinner? Dad, help! We need a trailer for the homecoming float. Mom, I need a black dress shirt for formal. Dad, help me clean up my mess. Year after year we celebrate our anniversary and our conversations more often than not lead to our kids (their friends, their teammates, coaches and what is going on in their lives).
I've been called the homework Nazi by every member of my house. It's not necessarily a bad thing. I'm the one that goes through the portal and questions why a 0 was received for a day of gym, or remind my husband to say congrats when a kid gets an A on a big project. We've encouraged or boys to make good choices and get their stuff done early. My husband tells them to treat schoolwork (high school and college) as a job. Get it done early, then you can have fun. Thankfully, both of our boys have been and continue to be good students, albeit sometimes lazy ones.
Earlier this week my husband and our youngest went on his second official college visit. It's the college his brother attends, so he's pretty familiar with it and quite a few people, both staff and students, already know him by name. After conversations with the coaching staff, they headed over to admissions to get down to the details. I.E., what kind of money is available? A great GPA, a pretty good ACT score and AP credits is a start. As my husband was listening intently to the questions from the Dean of Admissions, he made a quick phone call to me to find out about some details, while our youngest piped up and said "Dad, don't worry about it. Mom will handle it." I laughed when he told me that. Because I do handle that.
Lunch that day was with football players and fraternity brothers, and even his own brother. As I understand it, questions flew about offense and defense and why that school was chosen. There was a comfort there, which is a good thing. Even if that school isn't the ultimate decision, he made some new friends.
I'm disappointed I missed that day, because I did go to every visit for our older son. It's not that I wanted to miss it, but life (work) got in the way. It doesn't make me less of a parent because I couldn't go to a college visit, but I was still a blubbering idiot after dinner and I couldn't figure out why. I'm just so used to being involved that it got the best of me. In retrospect, it's probably menopause.
On the flip side of me handling school stuff, when either boy has a problem with a science project or truck or snowmobile or something equally technical, they head right over to dad.
Mom kisses booboo's, dad tapes them right up. It's what we do as parents. Can I work on a science project, sure...but it might not be pretty. Can dad whip up dinner? Absolutely.
How is it possible that after raising your children that some people are emotional wrecks and don't want to let them go? I'm not pushing our kids out the door by any means. I will miss them terribly when they aren't living under our roof. I'm most proud of the fact that my husband and I have raised smart, healthy, polite and driven children. Even when they graduate college, find their career, fall in love, get married and have their own kids, I know in my heart that we did everything we could to raise them the best way that we knew how. Our house has been filled with love, and support, openness and sometimes arguments that could be easily solved. I think my husband and I have done one hell of a job raising our boys. Down the road, I do expect phone calls and visits often, because that's the type of family we are.
We do not boast a cookie cutter family dynamic where everything is rosey 100% of the time. If anyone says they have a life like that, they are lying. Life is messy. Life isn't meant to be perfect. If it was perfect, we would have won the lottery, built a 3,000 square foot cabin in the woods with a 4,000 square foot garage (if you know my husband, you know why), and would never work another day in life. We work hard for what we have. We never lay blame where it isn't deserved. If our boys do something wrong, they own up to it. Granted, our kids haven't really gotten in trouble, because they have made good choices and stayed out of situations where they don't belong. There was also a fear of getting a boot up their ass...but that's a story for another day. We aren't the type of people that assume their kids are angels like so many other parents believe. Our boys have just learned stay out of where they don't belong, and solve problems if they need to instead of laying blame where it doesn't belong.
Six months down the road until we can officially claim we've gotten our children through school. College is still looming and degrees have yet to earned. I can comfortably say I'm looking forward to seeing what our kids do next.
What I want our boys to know is that even though you are each embarking on the next stages of your life, you will always have a place at home.
On the inside, I'm a little sad though I'm not quite sure why. I don't think things will change that much once we hit 186 days. He'll be off to college a few short months after graduation, and thankfully he's narrowed down his choice...I think. He'll still live at home when he's not at school, as will his brother until he finishes and moves out on his own.
It's been almost 22 years of having a third, then fourth, body in our house. Sometimes I wonder what my husband and I will talk about when it's just the two of us. The school years have been filled with homework and projects and athletic practice and games. It's been filled with permission slips and a million questions: Mom can you help me? Dad, my truck is acting up, what's wrong with it? Mom, what's for dinner? Dad, help! We need a trailer for the homecoming float. Mom, I need a black dress shirt for formal. Dad, help me clean up my mess. Year after year we celebrate our anniversary and our conversations more often than not lead to our kids (their friends, their teammates, coaches and what is going on in their lives).
I've been called the homework Nazi by every member of my house. It's not necessarily a bad thing. I'm the one that goes through the portal and questions why a 0 was received for a day of gym, or remind my husband to say congrats when a kid gets an A on a big project. We've encouraged or boys to make good choices and get their stuff done early. My husband tells them to treat schoolwork (high school and college) as a job. Get it done early, then you can have fun. Thankfully, both of our boys have been and continue to be good students, albeit sometimes lazy ones.
Earlier this week my husband and our youngest went on his second official college visit. It's the college his brother attends, so he's pretty familiar with it and quite a few people, both staff and students, already know him by name. After conversations with the coaching staff, they headed over to admissions to get down to the details. I.E., what kind of money is available? A great GPA, a pretty good ACT score and AP credits is a start. As my husband was listening intently to the questions from the Dean of Admissions, he made a quick phone call to me to find out about some details, while our youngest piped up and said "Dad, don't worry about it. Mom will handle it." I laughed when he told me that. Because I do handle that.
Lunch that day was with football players and fraternity brothers, and even his own brother. As I understand it, questions flew about offense and defense and why that school was chosen. There was a comfort there, which is a good thing. Even if that school isn't the ultimate decision, he made some new friends.
I'm disappointed I missed that day, because I did go to every visit for our older son. It's not that I wanted to miss it, but life (work) got in the way. It doesn't make me less of a parent because I couldn't go to a college visit, but I was still a blubbering idiot after dinner and I couldn't figure out why. I'm just so used to being involved that it got the best of me. In retrospect, it's probably menopause.
On the flip side of me handling school stuff, when either boy has a problem with a science project or truck or snowmobile or something equally technical, they head right over to dad.
Mom kisses booboo's, dad tapes them right up. It's what we do as parents. Can I work on a science project, sure...but it might not be pretty. Can dad whip up dinner? Absolutely.
How is it possible that after raising your children that some people are emotional wrecks and don't want to let them go? I'm not pushing our kids out the door by any means. I will miss them terribly when they aren't living under our roof. I'm most proud of the fact that my husband and I have raised smart, healthy, polite and driven children. Even when they graduate college, find their career, fall in love, get married and have their own kids, I know in my heart that we did everything we could to raise them the best way that we knew how. Our house has been filled with love, and support, openness and sometimes arguments that could be easily solved. I think my husband and I have done one hell of a job raising our boys. Down the road, I do expect phone calls and visits often, because that's the type of family we are.
We do not boast a cookie cutter family dynamic where everything is rosey 100% of the time. If anyone says they have a life like that, they are lying. Life is messy. Life isn't meant to be perfect. If it was perfect, we would have won the lottery, built a 3,000 square foot cabin in the woods with a 4,000 square foot garage (if you know my husband, you know why), and would never work another day in life. We work hard for what we have. We never lay blame where it isn't deserved. If our boys do something wrong, they own up to it. Granted, our kids haven't really gotten in trouble, because they have made good choices and stayed out of situations where they don't belong. There was also a fear of getting a boot up their ass...but that's a story for another day. We aren't the type of people that assume their kids are angels like so many other parents believe. Our boys have just learned stay out of where they don't belong, and solve problems if they need to instead of laying blame where it doesn't belong.
Six months down the road until we can officially claim we've gotten our children through school. College is still looming and degrees have yet to earned. I can comfortably say I'm looking forward to seeing what our kids do next.
What I want our boys to know is that even though you are each embarking on the next stages of your life, you will always have a place at home.
Tuesday, November 24, 2015
Invading Deer Camp
Yes, you read right. Not only did I, but my sister-in-law and I invaded deer camp this past weekend. Anyone that lives in Wisconsin knows this is the most scared of times. I've been married to my husband for 23 years, with him for 27; my sister-in-law has been married to my brother-in-law for 16 years, with him for 25. Never have either of us stepped foot within a 250 mile radius of the hunting grounds.
Normally, we both become deer hunter widows. We've had dinner dates, movies, cookie exchanges and shopping trips. My MO is to paint anything I can get my hands on in our house. Every year changes; sometimes it's cabinets, sometimes it's walls. This year, there was no painting.
Our family dynamic changed this fall when our father-in-law passed away. Our husbands chatted between themselves and decided it was time to bring to camp.
Now you can imagine, my first thought was "no way, never going to happen, I like my alone time". I didn't want to cook or clean for the group, nor did my sister-in-law. We both like our freedom that weekend, which normally consists of not doing dishes for four days and living on take out Chinese or pizza.
This year we welcomed the change. The boys (both husbands, and our two sons) went Thursday, and we left Friday to make the 4 1/2 hour trip after work. We chatted the entire time and the 4 1/2 hours felt like about 60 minutes.
We were given the option to sleep in on Saturday morning, but we both braced for the 4:30 am wake up call when we had gone to bed well after midnight. Before we headed out, I started making our dinner...what would be a full Thanksgiving dinner. (Remember, I didn't want to cook).
She went with her husband; I sat with our youngest son. I've come to appreciate the patience a deer hunter must have. I was cold (14 degrees that first morning), and I needed to pee. It's not like I'm male and can just whip it out and take care of business. Nope...leave the logistics to your imagination.
There is something so very surreal when you see your 17 year old's face light up when he sees that first deer. I watched him from the comfort of my chair get up, turn his chair on its side, and take aim. The shot was well over 150 yards; a distance even the most seasoned hunter would have trouble with. I was able to video the action, and I realized that my heart was about to jump out of my chest. Watching him take aim, hold his breath and shoot was incredible. Sadly, the shot was low and the doe took off. The disappointment on his face was terrible. I wanted it for him. The disappointment on his part was because he wanted me to see it. Shortly thereafter I saw a doe prance off into the woods, and then a buck follow. He decided against the shot because it was even further than the first. We headed back to camp.
Everyone else went out later the day and little luck again, but they all came back to what was a sleep inducing meal. I think everyone needed it. We laughed. We told stories. It was exactly what I needed.
Day two started out much like day one. An early morning wake up call. My sister-in-law went with my brother-in-law again, my boys hunted together, and I braved the cold (this time 9 degrees) with my husband. The view was breathtaking. We were over a ridge and were able to watch the sunrise. I had only wished I had my Canon with me. My phone didn't do it justice, and the cold was just too much for it.
I lasted a few hours and headed back to camp to get breakfast ready. No one had luck the second morning. Everyone headed out around lunch, and I decided I better nap since I had a five hour drive home (longer than Friday, taking our oldest back to college). I was out for 2 1/2 hours, only to be abruptly woken by something. That something turned out to be my boys tagging a deer. Our oldest got the lone doe this season. He was determined to take something, since the love of his life had gotten one the day before with her family.
What I am most proud of is that our boys did it together. There were no arguments; there was no one storming off. Our oldest asked our youngest to use the lone doe tag of the group.
Our family doesn't hunt just for the sport. They don't take more than they eat and would never hunt illegally. There were five deer in our yard and they could easily been taken, but it was well after sunset.
I spent the end of Sunday driving my oldest back to college. It was nice spending some alone time with him since he's away at school and normally we just text. There were only a few moments where I wanted to throw him out the truck (sorry kiddo). Knowing that he'll graduate soon and move out, I appreciate these few moments.
My sister-in-law helped my husband clean the cottage before the left on Monday.
Needless to say, invading deer camp wasn't what I thought it was. We still cooked, and cleaned, which is ok, because I love to cook, and she loves to clean. I guess it's who we are.
Will we go back next year? I think so. They might have another hunter on their hands though because I'm the best shot in the house.
Normally, we both become deer hunter widows. We've had dinner dates, movies, cookie exchanges and shopping trips. My MO is to paint anything I can get my hands on in our house. Every year changes; sometimes it's cabinets, sometimes it's walls. This year, there was no painting.
Our family dynamic changed this fall when our father-in-law passed away. Our husbands chatted between themselves and decided it was time to bring to camp.
Now you can imagine, my first thought was "no way, never going to happen, I like my alone time". I didn't want to cook or clean for the group, nor did my sister-in-law. We both like our freedom that weekend, which normally consists of not doing dishes for four days and living on take out Chinese or pizza.
This year we welcomed the change. The boys (both husbands, and our two sons) went Thursday, and we left Friday to make the 4 1/2 hour trip after work. We chatted the entire time and the 4 1/2 hours felt like about 60 minutes.
We were given the option to sleep in on Saturday morning, but we both braced for the 4:30 am wake up call when we had gone to bed well after midnight. Before we headed out, I started making our dinner...what would be a full Thanksgiving dinner. (Remember, I didn't want to cook).
She went with her husband; I sat with our youngest son. I've come to appreciate the patience a deer hunter must have. I was cold (14 degrees that first morning), and I needed to pee. It's not like I'm male and can just whip it out and take care of business. Nope...leave the logistics to your imagination.
There is something so very surreal when you see your 17 year old's face light up when he sees that first deer. I watched him from the comfort of my chair get up, turn his chair on its side, and take aim. The shot was well over 150 yards; a distance even the most seasoned hunter would have trouble with. I was able to video the action, and I realized that my heart was about to jump out of my chest. Watching him take aim, hold his breath and shoot was incredible. Sadly, the shot was low and the doe took off. The disappointment on his face was terrible. I wanted it for him. The disappointment on his part was because he wanted me to see it. Shortly thereafter I saw a doe prance off into the woods, and then a buck follow. He decided against the shot because it was even further than the first. We headed back to camp.
Everyone else went out later the day and little luck again, but they all came back to what was a sleep inducing meal. I think everyone needed it. We laughed. We told stories. It was exactly what I needed.
Day two started out much like day one. An early morning wake up call. My sister-in-law went with my brother-in-law again, my boys hunted together, and I braved the cold (this time 9 degrees) with my husband. The view was breathtaking. We were over a ridge and were able to watch the sunrise. I had only wished I had my Canon with me. My phone didn't do it justice, and the cold was just too much for it.
I lasted a few hours and headed back to camp to get breakfast ready. No one had luck the second morning. Everyone headed out around lunch, and I decided I better nap since I had a five hour drive home (longer than Friday, taking our oldest back to college). I was out for 2 1/2 hours, only to be abruptly woken by something. That something turned out to be my boys tagging a deer. Our oldest got the lone doe this season. He was determined to take something, since the love of his life had gotten one the day before with her family.
What I am most proud of is that our boys did it together. There were no arguments; there was no one storming off. Our oldest asked our youngest to use the lone doe tag of the group.
Our family doesn't hunt just for the sport. They don't take more than they eat and would never hunt illegally. There were five deer in our yard and they could easily been taken, but it was well after sunset.
I spent the end of Sunday driving my oldest back to college. It was nice spending some alone time with him since he's away at school and normally we just text. There were only a few moments where I wanted to throw him out the truck (sorry kiddo). Knowing that he'll graduate soon and move out, I appreciate these few moments.
My sister-in-law helped my husband clean the cottage before the left on Monday.
Needless to say, invading deer camp wasn't what I thought it was. We still cooked, and cleaned, which is ok, because I love to cook, and she loves to clean. I guess it's who we are.
Will we go back next year? I think so. They might have another hunter on their hands though because I'm the best shot in the house.
Wednesday, October 14, 2015
It's Not Goodbye...It's See You Later.
The last two weeks have been simply awful. Yesterday, I had to say goodbye to my father-in-law. He's been in my life for 27 years; nearly as long as my father before he passed away. For all intents-and-purposes...he was my dad.
What we thought was a stomach issue, turned into something so much more. Over the course of two weeks and too many procedures to count, the man that I've watched eat pizza until he'd bust, walk around eight miles at a car show, and build furniture just because we asked, couldn't fight any longer. There is something very surreal in watching someone you love be taken from you right in front of your eyes.
When my father died, I wasn't there. I was on vacation with my husband. We saw my dad five days before he passed away, and then I saw him when he was laid out for his wake.
This time, we were there by his side and my mother-in-laws side 14 of 15 days. The only day we weren't there we called. My husbands (and now my) family is very close. There were times when I thought the hospital door was a revolving door. Everyone wanted to see dad. He's been a rock in this family. He's the one that ensured my husband make it to hockey practice at 5 am. He's the one that made sure my husband and his brother knew how to work on cars. He's the one that showed them both how to treat their wives. He's the one that told stories, sometimes over and over again, to our boys...often things that they just didn't want to hear. He's the one that got picked on at car shows by his son's, only because that's what they did. He's the one that had a phrase for just about everything.... "down the road a piece", "you're about as useless as two tits on a board" and the every popular "were you born in a barn?"
Dad was preceded in death by 11 of 12 brothers, 1 of 2 sisters, his mother and his father, mother-in-law and father-in-law. Leaving behind a sister that lives in the same city, and a brother that lives in the South, there family was closer than many. I married into a family that was and is very close. Cousins are treated as siblings. Aunts and uncles were treated as additional parents. Extended family is treated as family.
Dad rescued a chihuahua a few years ago from near our family cottage in northern Wisconsin. He brought him home and gave him all the love he needed. Brownie quickly became part of the family and proceeded to bite (nip) just about everyone in the family except dad and mom. The last two weeks has been hard on Brownie and Roscoe (their other dog). No one really thinks about leaving pets behind. We had anticipated bringing Brownie to the hospital and had it approved, but quickly realized that it wasn't a good idea. The first few days dad was in the hospital, Brownie didn't eat. After a few more days, he warmed up to the rest of us and started eating. I don't doubt it's going to be very hard in the coming weeks for him as well.
I'd like to believe there is life after death. Until that happens, I know that dad will live on through his boys and our boys. If there is, I hope that dad and my dad are both the angels on our shoulders, or voice of reason, when we need a little guidance, or a swift boot in the ass.
Hug your loved ones a little tighter tonight. You never know when your world will turn upside down and be faced with tragedy. See you later dad.
What we thought was a stomach issue, turned into something so much more. Over the course of two weeks and too many procedures to count, the man that I've watched eat pizza until he'd bust, walk around eight miles at a car show, and build furniture just because we asked, couldn't fight any longer. There is something very surreal in watching someone you love be taken from you right in front of your eyes.
When my father died, I wasn't there. I was on vacation with my husband. We saw my dad five days before he passed away, and then I saw him when he was laid out for his wake.
This time, we were there by his side and my mother-in-laws side 14 of 15 days. The only day we weren't there we called. My husbands (and now my) family is very close. There were times when I thought the hospital door was a revolving door. Everyone wanted to see dad. He's been a rock in this family. He's the one that ensured my husband make it to hockey practice at 5 am. He's the one that made sure my husband and his brother knew how to work on cars. He's the one that showed them both how to treat their wives. He's the one that told stories, sometimes over and over again, to our boys...often things that they just didn't want to hear. He's the one that got picked on at car shows by his son's, only because that's what they did. He's the one that had a phrase for just about everything.... "down the road a piece", "you're about as useless as two tits on a board" and the every popular "were you born in a barn?"
Dad was preceded in death by 11 of 12 brothers, 1 of 2 sisters, his mother and his father, mother-in-law and father-in-law. Leaving behind a sister that lives in the same city, and a brother that lives in the South, there family was closer than many. I married into a family that was and is very close. Cousins are treated as siblings. Aunts and uncles were treated as additional parents. Extended family is treated as family.
Dad rescued a chihuahua a few years ago from near our family cottage in northern Wisconsin. He brought him home and gave him all the love he needed. Brownie quickly became part of the family and proceeded to bite (nip) just about everyone in the family except dad and mom. The last two weeks has been hard on Brownie and Roscoe (their other dog). No one really thinks about leaving pets behind. We had anticipated bringing Brownie to the hospital and had it approved, but quickly realized that it wasn't a good idea. The first few days dad was in the hospital, Brownie didn't eat. After a few more days, he warmed up to the rest of us and started eating. I don't doubt it's going to be very hard in the coming weeks for him as well.
I'd like to believe there is life after death. Until that happens, I know that dad will live on through his boys and our boys. If there is, I hope that dad and my dad are both the angels on our shoulders, or voice of reason, when we need a little guidance, or a swift boot in the ass.
Hug your loved ones a little tighter tonight. You never know when your world will turn upside down and be faced with tragedy. See you later dad.
Wednesday, October 7, 2015
The Clean Slate
I would give anything to turn back the clock. Right now, my family's future is uncertain. We are at the mercy of recruiters and employers, home buyers and mortgage lenders, doctors, specialists, insurance companies, and time. I can't say I'm a woman of faith...it's been years since I willingly went into a church to pray. I don't know if what we are going through as a family will get me to go back. I do know that at night I try to think of alternatives to working a traditional job.
There are days in between looking for jobs and looking for clients that I pray that we win the lottery and we could just move forward with our lives. My husband and I work hard. We don't know how to be lazy. We want to work. We want to volunteer. We want our lives to be normal again. This 'new normal' plainly sucks.
Monday I spent a large part of the day following up on interviews and letters and basically had to pry out the "thanks but no thanks" messages. For a brief hour, I spent it at PT to try to get some relief from the car accident we were in a few weeks ago.
Tuesday, I had to go to the unemployment office to prove that I am actually looking for jobs. I needed to present a piece of paper with the four jobs I looked for last week. (In full disclosure, I applied for probably eight times that). The meeting took all of two minutes. I understand that they need to check up on people, but seriously? Was it really necessary to present that info when you already get it electronically?
Today, I had a two hour interview at a very cool company. Met with a woman that appears to be everything I want in a boss, toured the location, and was told I was one of two top candidates. I was surprised when she candidly told me she wanted to bring me back in next week. Thankfully, it's scheduled for Tuesday, and I hope that I am what they are looking for. I have several interviews scheduled over the next few days, to which I am thankful for. I am getting pretty good at talking about myself, but am honestly tired of interviewing.
We were greeted with the second of two acceptance letters for our son's choice of colleges. It's a blessing knowing that all the hard work he has done for the last three plus years has paid off.
Tomorrow will be spent trying to find volunteers for a football game, looking for potential customers for my husbands business, and following up on more jobs.
Friday will end with a football game and those few hours where I can get lost in my photography and watch my son's team win the game.
Saturday and Sunday will be spent with family, and taking some baby and family pictures. For this I am thankful.
There is so much I want to say about what else is going on, but I've made a promise to myself that I won't, just yet, because it involves others. I'm digging back into my book, getting ready to send it for editing and have decided to dedicate to a very important man in my life.
The clean slate starts today. I don't know what tomorrow will bring. I know that I will apply for jobs until the right one sticks. I know that I will use all of my education and experience and help build my husbands client base, because it's what I do best. I will tackle editing senior pictures and get them ready to send off for printing. I will help my kids with anything they need. I will finish my book. I will be the best wife, mother, daughter and friend I can be.
There are days in between looking for jobs and looking for clients that I pray that we win the lottery and we could just move forward with our lives. My husband and I work hard. We don't know how to be lazy. We want to work. We want to volunteer. We want our lives to be normal again. This 'new normal' plainly sucks.
Monday I spent a large part of the day following up on interviews and letters and basically had to pry out the "thanks but no thanks" messages. For a brief hour, I spent it at PT to try to get some relief from the car accident we were in a few weeks ago.
Tuesday, I had to go to the unemployment office to prove that I am actually looking for jobs. I needed to present a piece of paper with the four jobs I looked for last week. (In full disclosure, I applied for probably eight times that). The meeting took all of two minutes. I understand that they need to check up on people, but seriously? Was it really necessary to present that info when you already get it electronically?
Today, I had a two hour interview at a very cool company. Met with a woman that appears to be everything I want in a boss, toured the location, and was told I was one of two top candidates. I was surprised when she candidly told me she wanted to bring me back in next week. Thankfully, it's scheduled for Tuesday, and I hope that I am what they are looking for. I have several interviews scheduled over the next few days, to which I am thankful for. I am getting pretty good at talking about myself, but am honestly tired of interviewing.
We were greeted with the second of two acceptance letters for our son's choice of colleges. It's a blessing knowing that all the hard work he has done for the last three plus years has paid off.
Tomorrow will be spent trying to find volunteers for a football game, looking for potential customers for my husbands business, and following up on more jobs.
Friday will end with a football game and those few hours where I can get lost in my photography and watch my son's team win the game.
Saturday and Sunday will be spent with family, and taking some baby and family pictures. For this I am thankful.
There is so much I want to say about what else is going on, but I've made a promise to myself that I won't, just yet, because it involves others. I'm digging back into my book, getting ready to send it for editing and have decided to dedicate to a very important man in my life.
The clean slate starts today. I don't know what tomorrow will bring. I know that I will apply for jobs until the right one sticks. I know that I will use all of my education and experience and help build my husbands client base, because it's what I do best. I will tackle editing senior pictures and get them ready to send off for printing. I will help my kids with anything they need. I will finish my book. I will be the best wife, mother, daughter and friend I can be.
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