Friday, September 9, 2016

Opinions are like assholes

Its three months post-graduation and life has definitely changed.  Both our boys are away at school and life as we know it is pretty quiet.   Yes, we go to Friday night football games.  Yes, I take pictures.  Yes, we go to work every day, and do yard work on the weekends.

I’m finding myself getting more and more irritated by things I read on social media.  I don’t doubt that my friends with kids older than mine had been irritated by my ramblings about volunteering or being proud of the kids or posts filled with 500 pictures or requests for photography jobs and links to my blog.  Or my countdown clocks to important days in our lives…you know like graduation, and snowmobiling.  I’m sure that friends I have now are irritated by my incessant need to post about my love of the word Fuck, or recipes that I have every intention of making, but never seem do make the time to do it.  Everyone’s lives are different and what might be tragic or life disrupting for them, might not even cross your radar.

Since graduation, there are many things I’m ridiculously happy about.  I no longer get phone calls from school saying my kid missed one or more periods, when in fact he was in school all day.  I no longer care that the school was on lockdown or that there was water in the gym.  Would I care if there was a shooter, yes, absolutely, because I am not a monster.  But for the water in the gym?  No, that’s just poor construction on the districts part.  I’m still involved with the football program, but don’t have the pressure of being involved 100% and could walk away at any time.   

It doesn’t matter to me what your child is doing now after graduation… sure, I’m curious, but in all honesty, it doesn’t affect me if your kid went into the military, went to a two or four year college or is slinging burgers.  They need to do what is right for them.   Now this may seem heartless.  That I should care about my friends kids and what they are doing with their lives.   I do, but not in the way you think.  I don’t jump up and down when little Sally gets her first job at TJ Maxx, or little Johnny decides that life sucks at home and he knows he can do better on his own.  I do care about my friends and the fact that their lives change, every time their kids’ lives change, because I’ve lived it.

As a parent you spend 18 years raising your kids and hope that you got everything right so when they make that next step, albeit college or a job and moving out, that they are not little assholes; that they don’t lie or cheat; or when you come across someone that had interactions with them, you are proud to say they are your child and not embarrassed by them.

Now back to social media.  I post things I probably shouldn’t because I think they are funny or offensive.  If that upsets you, feel free to unfollow or delete me.  Every time a friend posts something I don’t agree with, I don’t find it necessary to comment because frankly it doesn’t affect me.  Does that mean I’m going to delete them?  No, because you are entitled to your opinion.  There are days I want to go rogue on that delete button, because if I have to see one more cryptic message, I might blow a gasket. 

You know the ones.  “So tired”.  Could you elaborate?  Did you run a marathon or are you just tired from sitting at your desk today? 

How about that one friend that says “GM people,” at 6:00 am?  Every.Single.Day. I get it.  You love the morning…your happy. I’m going back to bed. 

Or those that only talk about one of their kids and not the other.  Weird, but not unheard of…I just wonder why.

And then the ones that are so cryptic that you can just tell they are waiting for someone, anyone, to say that they have your back, when clearly you are so delusional no one has your back but they say they do just to see what you respond.

I read and then scroll over political posts, because frankly I just don’t want to debate.  I respect my friends too much to get into with over something that could end a friendship.  I see your religious posts, and if that is what you like, more power to you.  I grew up in a Catholic household so I understand living your faith…I also will not comment because you have a right to choose if you worship God or a plant, just please don’t push it on me.  I stalk your pictures, and pictures of your sisters, husbands, daughters and friends.  Don’t judge me, I just got sucked in.

I had a friend message me this morning apologizing for not having me take her child’s senior pictures, when we had talked about doing them multiple times.  She’s been asked by other friends to do them, but has opted to go to an indoor studio so she doesn’t upset her friends.  My advice to her: do what is right for you and your child.  If they are your friends, they won’t get upset if you go with someone else.  I’m not offended…I promise you that.  There have been several instances where this has happened, and she is the first to say anything to me.  The others I just saw pictures taken by another photographer and was never told I wasn't doing them.  So be it.

So on this lovely September morning, my words of wisdom are this:  Life is too short to give a shit about things that don’t affect you, and that post you read that you think is about you probably isn’t.  And if it is, who cares.  It’s an opinion.  And opinions are like assholes.

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